Wednesday, November 28, 2007

HIDING MY TRUE SELF

As I was going back looking at older posts I realized how much my posting has changed.
I actually did become aware of this several months back when Mr. Bulletholes brought it to my attention.
However, now it seems remarkable that this should have changed so dramatically in only a few short months.

I feel as if I am hiding behind superficial, shallow posts that mostly include only photos that I've taken and poems or quotes stolen from someone else; Although, the photos have become more of who I am these days. Or, maybe they are representative of how I want others to think of me without giving anything of significance away.

The early days of this blog were chock full of my thoughts, feelings and angst. Now, well, none of that is revealed here. Maybe that is actually a positive step.Maybe those deep-seated negative thoughts no longer hold me hostage. Or..........

....maybe I am no longer doing any soul-searching? Am I no longer digging deep to reveal those pent up frustrations, wants or needs? Maybe.

I think this change has come about because of my fear of revealing anything not quite right about me to casual readers. Yet, when I read what others have written many seem not to have that worry.

Almost a year ago I felt that possibly I had found the perfect medium for my "therapy". Now, I'm not so sure.

We'll see how things progress from here.


Words to live by.

8 comments:

Not so little Woman said...

Ha! I also noticed it, but didn't want to say anything. It is, after all, your blog and if you write or just post pictures, it's your decision. I would only worry if by not writing (under the excuse of opening yourself up to strangers) you are in fact avoiding dealing with certain things. In the end, if you need to talk/deal with stuff, it's important that you do it, be it here, or with a friend, or with a therapist, or wherever.

GEWELS said...

NSLW- there is a whole lot more that I didn't say in that post.
And, yes, you hit the nail on the head...avoidance is my middle name.

Akelamalu said...

Hey it's your blog you post what you want. x

Barbara said...

As beautiful as your pictures are, I have recently wondered why you were holding back your inner thoughts. Having met you, I know they are there. We take on a big responsibility when we write about anyone other than ourselves, but I have enough quirks that I could probably devote the rest of my days to writing about myself.

I say let it all out -- the good, the bad, and the ugly. We are all human and know life is a mix of these things. Any Blogger who judges you negatively for writing about he truth should move on to another Blog.

steve said...

HOORAY!
Best post I've read in a long time from anybody.
And what a stylish close!

JoAnn - NL "My digital eyes" :) said...

Hi Gewels,
well thats something, I recognise too, its even more brave to write it down, my compliments! Just be you , who you want to be, its YOUR blog!

Because you liked the Paris photography and shows: I Just want to let you know that I POSTED TODAY (FRIDAY) again 3 more HUGH works of the LOUVRE on my blog, a slide- show with 34 photo's and 8 collages, also a close-up of the MONA LISA, so please watch it :)

Have a great weekend! :)

JoAnn:)

red dirt scribbler said...

Hi Gewels!

Finally ...... i see my girlfriend back .... though i love your photographs and would be bereft without them; and i am a lover of poetry .... i believe the title of your post Hiding My True Self says it all .....

and I miss that true self.

xxx
red

Mother of Invention said...

I wonder what changed in your posts when you once felt quite comfortable writing anything and everything? Was it that you started caring about what we would think and perhaps how we judged you? (That could be a good thing actually because maybe you began to think of us as friends and friends can be of help, virtual or otherwise.)
You said it yourself here that many others share all without any horrible repercussions. I say do whatever feels right at the time...and these feelings can and sometimes do change so go with that.

It also depends what the purpose for blogging is. I kind of fell into it as a place to store some poems etc. and now I add more about the daily events with pictures. I do it for myself anyway, and it's great when people read and comment. If I share problems, I suppose it's mostly been about my health problems, which may be a downer for some healthy people,but sometimes, that's what I need to express. Same for whatever you're feeling you need to express. Maybe some of us can even help you and relate to your issues whereas most people can't really help or relate to my health issues much.

Gues what I am saying is you should try telling it like it is if you think it is a positive step. If you have issue which are huge, it's important to get support from everywhere you can, family, friends, professionals...and maybe even friends here.

Don't know whether this helped but I hope you feel more comfortable about your blog and what you'd like it to be.